Perhaps this personal journal entry from January 7th, 2021 is too raw to be shared publicly. Maybe its contents are irrelevant in light of all that others who are more ‘tuned-in’ than I have shared. Nevertheless, I felt compelled to write. If you know me as someone who has been your pastor, please forgive me for overtly sharing my political views. The views expressed here are mine alone and do not necessarily reflect those of any organizations I currently represent or have represented in the past.
The German-American pastor, theologian, and social ethicist Reinhold Niebuhr argued that there is a deep irony at the heart of the idea that is the United States of America. In the absence of a monolithic cultural identity, we rely on supposedly timeless concepts to make meaning out of our social existence. Words like freedom, justice, equality and liberty can move us to tears at a moment’s notice.
Our ideals challenge us to realize a great society characterized by limitless possibilities for achievement and unbridled affirmation of all who strive for a place in this world. On the other hand, our history is marked by a terrifying inability to live up to the standards we set for ourselves. Time and time again, we have bastardized calls for resistance to injustice into proclamations that support tyranny.
This morning, I had an overwhelming feeling of… pride in my country.
You might ask, ‘Umm, have you not watched the news this week or for the past four years?’ I have. So, why am I proud? Is my pride a healthy, honest, and self-critical form of pride? I cannot answer all of these questions fully. I will simply say that I am proud because no matter how disgusting that shit-show we saw at the capitol this week was– no matter how blatant the discrepancy is between the way Trumpeters and BLM folks are treated by law enforcement– no matter how audaciously some congresspeople spouted lies in their desperate attempts to satisfy a “selfish man’s wounded pride…” enough people stood up and did the right thing.
Maybe I am stretching into the abyss to find something to celebrate; Should we really be happy when our elected leaders do little more than their job and show concern for disorder only after it breaks into their workspace? I don’t know, but I feel what I feel anyway.
I feel a sense of humble pride and deep respect for many of my country’s elected leaders who stood up to the child who would be king. My right arm would fall off, and my right eye would plop out before I would vote for Mike Pence, but the man FINALLY stood up. Mitt Romney, for whom I have never voted, but deeply admire, has again sealed his fate as a voice of the American conscience. Others, too, stood up. Perhaps it is far too late for many to find redemption in history’s eyes, but at least they found some level of courage when it mattered most.
I am proud to be part of a country where something so dire as an attempted coup is met a few hours later with the cold repetition of constitutional procedure; even if we had to wait until the wee hours of the morning to hear the results. What better reminder is there that, if we defend our institutions even as we work to improve them, they can ensure that we are a nation governed by laws and not by people?
There is a deep irony at the heart of the idea that is the United States of America. We know it to be true that since the founding of our nation, high ideals have coexisted with both overt and covert endorsements of oppression and evil. The unholy paradox at the core of our common identity is pervasive and persistent.
It will take generations to overcome centuries of prejudice and institutionalized injustice, but must we not hold on to the hope that the dream will one day become a reality? Must we not long for that shining city on the hill, no matter how dim and distant its light may be? It is dangerous, perhaps even wrong, to proclaim peace when there is no peace, but should we not look for peace even when it seems to be hiding?
We will either make it to the mountain top together or die alone in the valley; This paraphrase of Eleanor Rosevelt’s speech to the United Nations is not a platitude. It is a fact. We can hate each other, fight each other, call each other out for the wrongs we have done and continue to do, but if the ultimate goal is not to make life better for everyone, what the hell are we doing?
Despite the chaos at the Capitol Complex, the majority of our nation’s citizens used their votes this election cycle to issue a clear message to one another and the world. Yes, Trumpism, racism, isolationism, materialism, and anti-intellectualism are part of our social DNA. Yet, another strand also runs to the core of our national being; It calls us to do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly.
At the start of this new year, our citizens have voted to chart a new path in both the executive and legislated branches of our federal government. Perhaps many of us simply voted for a return to a less tumultuous status quo, but have not many tried to chart a path forward that deals honestly with the problems we face? Have not so many of us voted with the hope of building a better world for ourselves, our communities and those who will come after us?
There is a deep irony at the heart of the idea that is the United States of America. The irony reminds me of an old Cherokee story my grandmother told me when I was a child. Others tell it differently, but this is how she told it to me with a few embelishments;
A young boy tells his grandmother, “A fight is going on inside me between two wolves. The first wolf is evil, angry, sad, regretful, greedy, and arrogant. He thinks only of himself. He is falsely proud. He is ignorant, but he thinks he is smart. He feels like he is better than others and tries to manipulate his friends into doing what he wants.
The other wolf is good. He is happy. He loves. He wants to live at peace with all. He embodies hope, serenity, passion, humility, kindness, and justice. When he is angry, he has a reason to be. He has pride, but it is grounded in the potential of his community, rather than his own selfish need for affirmation. He is empathetic, generous, honest, and compassionate. He has faith.”
The grandmother responds, “The same fight is going on within me.”
The grandson asks, “Which wolf wins, grandmother?”
The grandmother answers, “whichever wolf I feed.”
There is a battle raging in our nation’s heart. We have a choice; will we feed the fires of justice, peace, and unity, or will we indulge false pride, vainglory, and hatred?
I am proud to be a citizen of this country because I believe we have it in us to make the right choice.
Images from Wikimedia Commons.
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